Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Friends don't let friends watch Wicker Man

As you all have heard, The Wicker Man hit theaters this weekend. Now before you get your hopes up, this will not be a review of that movie. I have heard from several people it was abysmal, and it even went as low as 12% on the Tomometer. Today, I want to talk to you about the original. With the recent remake, I found myself in multiple conversations with friends about the movie. All of them recommended I see it. That's right, I'm looking at you Josh, Robbie, and Claire.

Well, I saw it. I thought it was horrible. It was boring, stupid, and not scary at all. I really didn't care about the outcome. The movie was good for a couple of laughs, but that was about it. The movie being bad didn't upset me so much, but the fact that friends recommended it to me bugged me. Am I on crazy pills here? At least someone shares my opinion.

Anyway, I know there haven't been many updates for Cinematic Cynic or Concerning Concerts lately, but looks what's in the pipeline:

September 8th - Hollywoodland
September 13th - Deerhoof, Flaming Lips @ The Tabernacle
September 17th - Band of Horses @ Variety Playhouse

Monday, August 21, 2006

Remembering Schlock: Kazaam

Let's remember some schlock. Why? Because it's fun!

Today, for some reason I was thinking about Shaq's greatest moment in cinema history: Kazaam. This is one of the few movies that is so terrible, it actually has a 0% on Rotten Tomato's Tomometer. It's rare when not a single reviewer thinks your film is good. But Kazaam is more than just a bad movie. It's a horrible train wreck of misplaced dialogue, bad acting, horrible raps, and disillusioned child actors. It's so horrible, it's almost cute. Like an Ed Wood film, it is intriguing to see how horrible a movie can actually be. It's not because people just didn't try either, Shaq dooms anything he touches, and director Paul Glaser (the original Starsky), has directed such cinematic wastelands as The Cutting Edge and The Air Up There. Kazaam will make you laugh very hard. It is one of the greatest worst movies you will ever see.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Little Miss Sunshine

Little Miss Sunshine is the strange journey of a dysfunctional family taking a cross country trip in an old VW bus to get their young daughter into the finals of a beauty pageant. So given the plot, you can see there is ample material for jokes. There is a bickering family, this time composed of a suicidal uncle, an angry teenaged brother, a drug addicted, sex crazed grandfather, a zealous motivational father, an exhausted mother and a cute, optimistic daughter that holds them together. Also, There is the fact that this family is on a road trip with a vehicle falling apart. Despite this combination of clichés, Little Miss Sunshine delivers great laughs, but not much else. Like all comedies, after delivering lots of jokes, it’s hard to deliver a message that isn’t trite or stupid. Little Miss Sunshine does better than others, but I didn’t learn anything, I just laughed. I liked this film, it was fun, but to be honest it more-or-less played out like an independent, slightly smarter version of National Lampoons’ Family Vacation. However, given how truly funny this film is, I think it stands well on its own as a comedy. Forget that stupid "dramedy" label.


Final Verdict: B+

Monday, July 10, 2006

Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest

Sorry, but for some reason, I don't feel like writing out full reviews for the movies I saw this weekend. Not only am I lazy, but I just don't feel that I have anything great to say about them. I'll just give you a paragraph review and a grade.

First of all, I got to say that I loved the first Pirates of the Carribean, but this one wasn't special at all. It wasn't horrible either. But I don't feel that it has much to offer. By the time you get to the end, you will most likely be thinking "When will this end!!??" Finally, I can live up to my moniker and be cynical! This movie was just another example of good originals spawning mediocre sequals designed to deceive the audience into ticket sales. Do not see this film based on the merits of the first, you will be disappointed.

Final Verdict: C-

Superman Returns

I thought this movie was great! Especially since I got to see it on IMAX 3D. Bryan Singer did a great job taking what was great and inspiring about the first movies, and adding his own to it. I really loved this one. And yes Erik, I still think it's better than Batman Begins. :)

Final Verdict: A

Monday, June 26, 2006

Wordplay

After seeing Spellbound and Word Wars, I was hesitant to see Wordplay. But after a lot of good reviews, I decided to give it a shot. My opinion follows.

First of all, since I have begun writing reviews, one thing I have discovered that I don’t like at all, is providing a synopsis of the film before I express my opinion. I don’t feel that showcasing an ability to summarize a movie is the intention of writing a review. Most of the time a reader is already going to know what the movie is about. I mean, when have you honestly read a review of a movie that you have no idea what it’s about?

The point I am trying to make is that I think it is a waste of time. From now on, I will give you the synopsis straight from IMDB and be done with it.

From IMDB:

"Wordplay" starts the story of the New York Times crossword puzzle, and the current and historical creative forces behind it. But as it dances across the story, filling it in as one of its devotees might across the puzzles, it reveals an entire amazing world behind its practice, creation, and history, from the annual crossword convention in Stamford to the breadth of individuals who enjoy it daily.

At first, I thought Wordplay would be similar to Trekkies or Word Wars in which the viewer is to say things like “Huh, those people are weird”, or “Strange people are neat”; but luckily it wasn’t simply a parade of eccentricity. It wasn’t that simple. Sure, the subjects were odd, the subjects were obsessive. But they knew it, they were comfortable with it, and the movie lovingly made some jabs at it.

A variety of subjects were interviewed, on one side there was the group of crossword zealots: the editor, the constructors, the competitors, the critics. These people dedicate their lives to crossword puzzles. But wordplay also shows us the more casual side of crossword puzzles. Wordplay showed us that musicians (Indigo Girls), politicians (Bill Clinton), athletes (Mike Mussina), and comedians (Jon Stewart) also have an affinity for crossword puzzles. But what I really enjoyed about Wordplay, was its playfulness. Throughout the movie subjects would wax philosophical on why they think crossword puzzles and even words are so important. Interestingly, no common bond was presented. It was more about showing the differences of all of us, than the similarities. It worked.

Wordplay also had some great humor in it. I found it funny that all of the celebrities tried to give some analysis as to the importance of crossword puzzles in their lives, but Jon Stewart just made jokes and did the puzzles. Another thing I found hilarious was when they interviewed Bob Dole. On Election Day 1996, the NY Times published a unique crossword puzzle that one of the clues where "Lead story in tomorrow's newspaper (!), with 43A" (43A was ELECTED). The answer could be either “CLINTON” or “BOBDOLE”. Even the words going down where made to work either way. For example, the down word clue from the first letter of that answer “Black Halloween animal” which could have been “BAT” or “CAT”. When interviewing Dole about it, his reply was something to the effect that the crossword puzzle, like the election of ’96, left him confused. Wordplay was informative, humorous, and enjoyable. It had meaning, but was light. If you are a fan of documentaries, you should see it.

Final Verdict: A-

Monday, June 19, 2006

This Week in Netflix: Part I

I hope I will do this regularly, but I know me. I won't. This Week in Netflix, or TWIN, will be a quick synopsis of the movies I watched that week through Netflix.

2046
Kar Wai Wong delivers style and substance in his sequel to In the Mood for Love. I found the imagery very beautiful, and the symbols to be mysterious. I need to watch it a couple more times to completely grasp it.

Thumbs Up!

Jim Gaffigan: Beyond the Pale
I first saw this comedy special at Albert's, I think I laughed almost the entire time. Gaffigan makes hilarious observations into the way Americans act and think.

Thumbs Up!

Robocop
A movie I haven't seen since I was a child. Surprisingly enough, I didn't understand all the social commentary and satire when I was 6. I liked it.

Thumbs Up!

The Yes Men
A documentary about a group of anti-globalist men sharing the same name, that create elaborate hoax's in the name of the WTO. "Identity correction" as they call it, includes assuming the identity of a given organization in the hopes of presenting that organizations true ugly intentions. Interesting concept, and fresh ideas by the Yes Men, but very poor execution by the documenter.

Indecisive Thumbs!

Tron
I love the 80's. Plots had no boundaries of believability. End of Line.

Thumbs Down!
(unless your a computer programmer)

Nacho Libre

I know, you had completely given up on the Cinematic Cynic, but he's back with his take on Nacho Libre!

One thing that has always intrigued me, is the evolution of comedy. There are so many things that fit under the umbrella of comedy: Physical gags, irony, flatulence, mischief, acting strangely, saying random things. It is interesting to me that what is considered funny, is always changing. Put a couple of teenagers down to a Laurel & Hardy film, and see if they even crack a smile. Let your grandmother watch Adult Swim and see how bewildered she becomes. Coming off of the great success of Napoleon Dynamite, Jared Hess delivers another great unique comedy, despite mixed reviews.
In Nacho Libre, Nacho (Jack Black) is an orphaned Mexican Friar who dreams of one day becoming a great luchador, despite it being forbidden by his faith. His character eventually realizes that his faith only condemns Lucha Libre wrestling because of its vain associations, and that if he were to graciously fight for "the children", he would not be doing anything wrong. Along the way he meets Esqueleto (Hector Jimanez) and falls in love with Sister Encarnacion (Ana de la Reguera). This does not sound funny, but it is.
Jared Hess has completely refined a new method of comedy. In the film, the characters act and interact completely different than a real life person would. It is the moments of forced social awkwardness, ridiculous mispronunciations and intonations, ironically placed farts, and false vanity, that we know are wrong and we laugh. Some scientists actually theorize that laughter can be traced back 4 million years ago, to pre-humans tripping and falling. The theory states that laughter came about as a method of communicating to fellow pre-humans that something was "amiss, but nothing too serious." Later, flatulence and sexual mischief were included as things that were not considered good social behavior, but weren't horrible violations.
Whether that theory is true or not has yet to be agreed on, but the fact remains that I really loved the movie. I really haven't liked Jack Black lately because I have grown tired of the same jokes and characters he has recycled since Tenacious D, but I felt his performance was for the most part fresh and new. In the end Nacho learns an important lesson about challenging and understanding your own beliefs, but luckily, this isn't the priority of the film. The humor in this film is pretty uniform, I think you will either love it or hate it. But if you enjoyed Napoleon Dynamite, give it a go.

Final Verdict: B

Friday, April 21, 2006

Silent Hill


This, my first review will be a little long because of an essay I wanted to tack on at the end. Most reviews will be a little shorter.


Last night I saw Silent Hill, and I noticed a lot of allegorical elements that intrigued me. I decided I wanted to write a review, and a little essay on allegories in general, because for the most part, I had given up on allegories. The review will be spoiler free, but the discussion that follows will have spoilers. I’ll warn you when I get there.

Silent Hill is Christophe Gans’ (Brotherhood of the Wolf) first foray in the world of video game film adaptations. I think there are at least two problems any video game film adaptation has to address. The first is that people do not agree on what an adaptation really is. I know plenty of purists that want no changes made in an adaptation, and that the sole reason of an adaptation is a change of medium. In my opinion, an adaptation is a chance for someone else to tell a story with a different perspective or style. I found Gans reached a nice medium and that he kept a lot of the elements from the original in tact, and his changes were for the better. The second and more specific problem I think video game film adaptations face is that you now have a much shorter window to enforce a suspension of disbelief. For instance, I have played games like Final Fantasy VII, which take around 70 hours to beat. In that time you can tell a very complex and outlandish character-driven story. Now try to compress something like that into a 2 hour film. Unless you are familiar with the story, that suspension of disbelief can be hard to overcome. I think there are two ways to address this. You can either cut sub-stories out and rewrite the story to be more simple and believable, or just trust the audience to understand this problem and hope for the best. This is why I think people who are not familiar with Silent Hill, may find the concept to be a stretch at times. Anyway, enough with generalities lets be more specific.

First, a little plot synopsis. Rose (Radha Mitchell) feels she must take her daughter Sharon (Jodelle Ferland) to a town called Silent Hill, when her daughter continues to scream its name in her night terrors. Right outside Silent Hill, Rose crashes her car, and awakes to find Sharon is missing. She must head into the ghost town of Silent Hill to find her. I remember playing this game when I was in high school with all the lights off at 1’oclock in the morning. It was so terrifying.

As a review, I think Silent Hill was great. I felt Gans trusted the audience a lot more with interpretation than usual. Much like The Ring, you are left in a confused and intrigued state until the plot payoff. Also, Gans did a great job stylistically showing three separate worlds, the real world (not the MTV show), the “light” Silent Hill, and the “dark” Silent Hill. In much the same way Soderbergh used film granularity to differentiate realities in Full Frontal, Gans employs visual cues as to where you are. This not only makes the story easy to follow, it comes as a payoff at the end too. The film says much as a study of judgment and atonement, and what I hope to see in a sequel, a counterpoint of mercy. The film is rich with symbols of these themes, and I will catalogue them in the second part of this review/essay. Finally, this movie had a lot of very disturbing imagery. I saw this as a positive because…well, because it’s a horror movie, it’s supposed to scare you, and it did. However, if you are a featherweight when it comes to blood and gore, just be forewarned, some of these things, you will not be able to “unsee”.

Now don’t get me wrong, the film wasn’t perfect. As no video game movie to date has been able to avoid, there are the obligatory cheesy lines. Sometimes these are a blessing in disguise and provide unintentional comic relief, however in Silent Hill, it makes you feel embarrassed that you’re even watching the film. After escaping mortal danger from a monster, one of the characters says “They say this place is haunted”, to which the other replies “I’d say their right!” Avary wrote some pretty bad dialogue at times and I found it to be a little cheesy, but at least these lines are kind of sparse. The girl who played Sharon was “OK” at best. About halfway through, the plot falls into an almost predictable episodic feel, in much the same way video games can become tedious in repetitive action. I don’t really see this as negative though and I think it was intentional. This episodic feel is inherent to the construction of videogames, and I think this was in reference to that.

Bottom line: great film. You will love it if you liked the games, you might not like it if you have never played the games.

Final Verdict: B

Spoiler Warning: If you haven’t seen Silent Hill, read no further!

Silent Hill contains several allegorical elements and symbols. After having watched The Chronicles of Narnia, I was really turned off by allegory. If a story as a whole is simply an allegory for another story (or faith, depending on your perspective), what is the purpose of an allegory. Anyone can change characters names, environments, and create mirror worlds and now pass it off as enlightened allegory. Silent Hill is different in that it is a juxtaposition of allegorical elements, offering a fresh perspective on how to represent other works. By creating fragments of certain religious allegorical elements and even reversing some of them, Silent Hill shows that you can create a different kind of story. Silent Hill really intrigued me. At times it was bright with intelligence, symbols, and allegory. At other times it was dim with bad dialogue and poor pacing. Could Silent Hill be interpreted as an attack on Christianity, yes, I think it could. But a valid point could be made that it is in support of Christianity. Reversed allegorical elements can have a dualistic interpretation. I think the point is more to get you discussing the different elements. I guess my point is that I don’t have a point, I’m like a little kid pointing his finger saying “Hey! Look at this!”, wondering what everyone else will think.

I think it is interesting to note how much storytelling in our country uses allusions and allegories to God and Jesus Christ. (Narnia, The Matrix, Star Wars). Some people actually interpret this as proof of God’s existence, in that these are natural associations we make from a subconscious knowledge of a creator, but there are a couple problems with this. First of all, is what I call the Babel Fish argument, which I credit to Douglas Adams. In the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, there exists a little fish called the Babel Fish, and when you stick it in your ear you can automatically understand anything said to you regardless of language. The argument goes like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing." "But," says Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED." "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic. It’s a joke, and a rather clever one, but it also says a lot. Secondly, I think this can’t be some hidden proof of God’s existence, because what if the Bible is just another allegory. In other words you cannot say the Chronicles of Narnia is a true story because of the allegory used in the Matrix. With all of that said, I’d like to now make a list of all the symbols and allegories I noticed in Silent Hill. This is kind of a rough draft, I may expand it, but most likely I won’t.

  1. When we first see Sharon in her night terror outside, we see a lighted crucifix in the background.
  1. Jesus Christ is symbolically referred to as the “Rose of Sharon” in Song of Solomon 2:1. The mother and daughter are Rose and Sharon respectively.
  1. Sharon/Alessa is represented as three separate parts in much the same way God is represented as a Trinity. Alessa in the hospital bed is how I envision God the Father. Outwardly passive, but inwardly really the one in control of everything. Dark Alessa is how I envision the Holy Spirit, omnipresent. It is Dark Alessa that Rose continually seeks in Silent Hill. Finally Light Alessa, reincarnated as Sharon, is representative of Jesus Christ.
  1. When Rose meets Alessa, and Alessa hugs her, and enters her, it is symbolic of the sin that was placed upon Christ by God before the crucifixion. (II Corinthians 5:21)
  1. When Rose returns with Alessa in her, she is stabbed by the priestess. Nothing happens until her blood falls on the ground. "Without shedding of blood is no remission." (Hebrews 9: 22.)
  1. Several signs showing biblical passages of judgment are outside of the home of the Da Silvas.
  1. The last name of the family Da Silvas is an anagram for “dis lava”. The City of Dis is a fiery inferno that spews lava in the sixth layer of hell, described in Canto IX of Dante’s Divine Comedy, it sounds very much like Silent Hill:

That color cowardice painted on my face,

When I had seen my leader turned around,

More quickly caused him to repress his pallor.

Attentive he halted, like a man listening,

Because his eyes could not lead him on farther

Through the blackening air and thickening fog.

  1. Also in that same verse, in the town exists the three Furies of Queen Hecate: Megaera, Alecto, and Tisiphone, in Greek mean respectively, Enemy (Dark Alessa), She Who Does not Sleep (Sharon, has night terrors), and Avenger of Homicides (Hospital Bed Alessa, who I feel was in charge of the avenging of her own death).
  1. Also prevalent is the juxtaposition of the light and dark as representations of good and evil. Really there is no good and evil in Silent Hill, more like action-reaction or sin-retribution. However, the force the audience ultimately sides with because of innocent origins is represented as dark, while the opposing force, with evil origins is represented as light.